It’s Monday and I can’t think of anything witty to say other than: “How about some free stuff!?” You like stuff, I like to give stuff away. Do I need to say anymore? Full contest details after the break.
Prize:
1 person will win 1 each of the following prizes from Klingg, ENDEVR and Mimoco:
Klingg: Klingg Earphone Magnet
Wearable magnetic earphone holder prevents the cable getting in the way or damaging your clothes
- Features strong Neodymium magnets to hold the cord in place, preventing damage to your clothes and even works through heavy winter jackets
- Klingg can also be used to safely hold your earbuds in place when not in use
- Available in 8 color combinations to match any outfit
- Weighs less than 1oz and only 1.34” x 0.87” – you won’t even know it is there
- Compatible with almost all earphone cords on the market
Website: www.klingg.com
ENDEVR: MYID Band
Personal identification bracelet contains vital medical information to assist first responders & medical professionals
- Quickly provides complete medical profile information to first responders
- Optimized for fast access from first responders with QR code or telephone access
- Complimentary MYID phone app, which easily merges and updates information via smartphone
- Easily setup and update your medical profile via computer of smartphone
- Includes medical profile wallet card & stickers for car and home for complete protection
- Lifetime subscription to Basic Online Health Profile & free 1 year subscription to Premium Online Health Profile ($9.99/year after that)
- Fully adjustable fit & available in 3 different colors: white/grey, black/grey, turquoise/black
- Ion Health Technology: far-infrared charged minerals & gems produce ions which promote vitality & wellness
Website: www.Endevr.com
Mimoco: Klingon Captain MIMOBOT USB Flash Drive
Limited Edition Star Trek USB Flash Drives featuring a menacing Klingon Captain with removable helmet
- Limited Edition run of 1,000, each is individually hand numbered
- Available from 8GB up to 128GB capacities & USB3.0 speeds for lightning quick data transfer (prize is for 8GB)
- Preloaded with MimoDesk® suite of wallpapers, icons, avatars, exclusive MimoByte® sound software unique to each character, and story boards and digital clips
Website: www.mimoco.com
How to enter (please read carefully – any missed steps and your entry will be disqualified):
1. Between now and 09/18/2013 11:59PM EST leave a comment with your favorite one liner or joke (keep it clean please).
2. At some point on 09/18/2013, I’ll pick 1 random winner using random.org. The winner will be contacted by email and will have 48 hrs to claim their prizes. If I do not receive an answer to my emails in that time period, I’ll do other random.org drawings till the prizes are gone.
Rules:
1. Only one entry per person (warning: I check IP addresses).
2. Anyone associated with The Gadgeteer may not enter this contest.
3. the-gadgeteer.com is not responsible for any lost packages or incorrect shipping addresses.
4. Winner must have a US shipping address.
Update:
The winner is #57 Sue Cugini.
Congrats to Sue and thank you to everyone who entered and our sponsors for this contest: Klingg, ENDEVR and Mimoco.
Gadgeteer Comment Policy - Please read before commenting
“It’s just gone 8 o’clock and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.”
Someone asked me why I wasn’t wearing my name badge at a conference.
I told them I had memorized it, so I could throw it away.
So, a neutron walked into a bar and said “I’d like a beer, please.”
After the bartender gave him one, he said “How much will that be?”
“For you?” said the bartender “No charge.”
Bazinga!
Grasshopper walks into an ice cream parlor. Guy behind the counter says, “we have a flavor named after you!” Grasshopper says, “Why would you name a flavor Bob?”
Nobody will die in GoT season 4.
If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, then it means they had never tried a new thing in their life.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the squirrel it could be done.
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show.
“Look, it’s not the same hat!” “Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table!” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?”
The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything, it was the captain’s parrot after all.
One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side.
They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for several days.
After a week the parrot finally said, “Okay, I give up.
What’d you do with the boat?”
How did the Aggie break his arm while raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree.
I’m so broke I can’t pay attention…
There are 10 kinds of people – those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
the aristocrats
How do you know the stage risers are even? The violist drool evenly out of both sides of their mouths. (NB: I’m a violist!)
A cop pulled Heisenberg over and asks him, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know where I am.”
Sorry…REALLY geeky physics joke….BAZINGA….
Two men walked into a bar; the third one ducked. *rim shot*
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
So, I dreamt there was a draft in my room, how all those basketball players got into my room I will never know… badda bing…
What do you do to an elephant with three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the rhino.
Badges, we don’t need no stinkin badges! or my other favorite from History of the world part II – It’s good to be the King!
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
I love to laugh, but I have a cool reason to make a comment and it’s the Houston Marathon. I’ve need to reach my goal and help raise money For The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. So January 18 2014 & 26 miles later with help, I will accomplish my goals. Thanks and I love the Gadgeteer web site. http://www.chevronhoustonmarathon.com/Donate/PersonalPage.cfm?MID=10648&CRID=36
When is a door not a door? When is it ajar
Some of my proudest moments have been when a website told me my password was “Very Strong.”
Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!
Huge cracks have appeared in the Earth’s surface, boulders falling from the sky, film at 11.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
The food’s alright, but there’s no atmosphere.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? AGcchaghghghgh (or whatever gagging sound you make).
The Government is like a box of chocolates…
Except it doesn’t have chocolates, steals your money, points guns at you, and has bombs.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Q: How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
A: Three. One left ear, one right ear, and one wild frontier.
Two lions are eating a clown when one asks the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”
What’s a wok?
Something you throw at a wabbit.
Last year on valentines day my secretary asked me if I had a heart on.. Sounded funnier at the time.
Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to the *other side*
A skeleton walks into a bar. he orders a beer and a mop.
What did the headlines read when the midget psychic escaped prison? Small medium at large!
I never really grew up, I just learned how to act in public.
“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?”
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. It’s like, “dude, you have to wait.”
Almost every day someone asks me “What’s up, John?”
“It’s a pharmaceutical company”, I respond.
No need to test that fix, it’ll run the first time.
I’ll be back..
that’s what _she_ said…
A string was about to walk into a bar. He stopped before going in and tied himself into a knot and separated the ends. When he got to the bar the bartender said “We don’t serve strings here, are you a string?” The string smiled and said “I’m afraid not”. (A FRAYED KNOT)
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
11 cheers for binary.
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes? 🙂
What do you call a mushroom who buys all the drinks?? A Fungi to be with!!
“The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men.”
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
‘I’ll have the steak, medium rare, please.’
Surprised, the waiter said,
‘Sir, aren’t you worried about the mad cow scare?’
‘Nah”, I said. ‘She can order for herself.’
And that’s how the fight started…..
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap Department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
–Steven Wright
A school class was in the woods having a picnic in nature and two girls had to go to the bathroom. The teacher told them to go behind the tree and “don’t get your feet wet”. Later a little boy had to go and the teacher said, ” go behind the tree”. The two girls heard this and said to one another, “why didn’t the teacher say don’t get your feet wet”. They both looked behind the tree and said, ” what a cute little gadget to have along on a picnic “.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse will get the cheese.
He’s got all the backbone of a sockpuppet
The best one liner is a one liner and this is it — one line.
There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
The pug can’t hear you, he has flaps over his ears!
El Guapo: Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?
The only member of my family with a personal trainer is the dog!
The winner is #57 Sue Cugini.
Congrats to Sue and thank you to everyone who entered and our sponsors for this contest: Klingg, ENDEVR and Mimoco.