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Light up your life! (And cook some eggs while you’re at it)

By: Griffin Peyton
on January 30, 2010 11:11 am

Single-purpose items are so 2009!  Why invest in a flashlight that merely illuminates your surroundings when you can have one wielding enough power to light matches or prepare breakfast?!  Enter the Torch Ultra-Bright Flashlight!  Billed as the most powerful consumer flashlight, the Torch Ultra-Bright Flashlight packs enough power (4100 lumens) to roast marshmallows, burn plastic, and…illuminate your surroundings!  For a mere $299 – you can be the life of the campsite!

Disclaimer: The Gadgeteer does not condone any misuse of severely powerful flashlights…please use with discretion.

[Courtesy of ThinkGeek]

Comments

  1. 1
    Sara Hopkins says:

    GAH…

  2. 2
    Griffin Peyton says:

    One flashlight to rule them all…one flashlight to blind them. One flashlight to cook your eggs, and in the darkness find them!

  3. 3
    andix says:

    that’s nothing. they’re working on a flashlight that not only cooks eggs – it lays them too.

  4. 4
    Jhon says:

    … because EVERYONE needs a flashlight that lasts 15 mins and can cook an egg during those 15 mins.

  5. 5
    1hen2ducks says:

    Battery life must be horrid.
    Tough luck if you want bacon as well.

  6. 6
    BaldSpot says:

    I wonder if you could install a solar spectrum light bulb and use it for tanning on your drive to work. That isn’t against the law yet.

  7. 7
    Jhon says:

    1hen2ducks:

    Battery life is 15 mins, according to thinkgeek.

  8. 8
    Alan Rainey says:

    what happens when you put a magnifying glass in front of it? Hmmm.

  9. 9
    Jhon says:

    Alan:

    You generate 1.21 gigawatts of electricity and instantly find yourself teleported back to 1889.

  10. 10
    Ben Udkow says:

    Jhon: Great Scott!

    Clearly I need to get this along with three of my friends and see what happens when we all cross the beam. You know, find out if it’s “bad”. :-)

  11. 11
    chriszzz says:

    Darth Vader, eat your heart out. Why hand-build a light-saber when you can just buy this bad boy that not only slices through hands, but also burns your eyeballs and strikes fear into the hearts of all egg-layers everywhere.

    Enough with the budget-busting DeathStar already. Get a few thousand of these puppies and strap them to something big and round and hey presto, instant DeathStar on a budget.

  12. 12
    canino says:

    Not a flashlight for kids. No it’s not.

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